In The Beginning There Was Nothingness. IF ONLY.
In The Beginning There Was The Word. NOT THE BIRD FROM L7 PULLING DOWN HER KECKS AGAIN.
But neither of these are strictly true. Because the first book of the Bible Of Badness is Genesis. And if you wer[…]

“Peace be upon you, dear child. I sense a troubled soul.”
So said the man in a dress who greeted me when a stormed a big building in the City Of London, trying find the source of high pitched choral caterwauling which was distracting me f[…]

Sometimes when daydreaming I imagine myself on University Challenge facing Jeremy Paxman. After dazzling him with my knowledge of all the botanicals in Bombay Sapphire, it comes to my least favourite bit: the music question. At which point he plays &[…]

Long-term readers will know my strong commitment to green issues: every time I see a copy of REM’s apalling album I ‘orange crush’ it to destruction under a sharp stiletto.
And of course I’d like to save the planet too. In thi[…]

I mean its clear what Queen’s Greatest Hits Volume III was trying to tell us: they did not have that many hits. Brian May’s ad jingle (Driven By You), The Great Pretender and some Wyclef Jean old man rap cover barely pads the thing out. B[…]

If it had a cold.
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The oil rig workers of the North Sea are a hardy lot, used to working in freezing, arduous, life-threatening conditions separated from their families and loved ones. Like the Foreign Legion of old, a lot of the appeal of North Sea work is the promise[…]

This time the battle is between Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie of Manchester United. Note that both our protagonists are trying to garner votes by looking serious.

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I hate bands with punctuation in their name. I hate all bands obviously, but this marks the particular band out for special Tanya Treatment. Do you think it is any coincidence that post Screamager Therapy? vanished from our musical scene? The affecta[…]

If it had actually been left on an Autobahn in 1974.

Leaving this god-forsaken piece of vinyl on the Autobahn seems like a terrific idea to me, as was flyering all the record shops in the mid-eighties for the CD re-release with a much more appropria[…]