Indonesia. Probably a really nice place. Probably full of great food, native culture that does not involve rhythm’s or instruments and great folk tales. That’s what I thought when I woke up, before toying with getting a ticket to Japan (t[…]

Apologies to my fellow music haters who have been waiting with baited breath for the conclusion of my epic world trip. The truth is that the next episode is so shocking that I have barely been able to write it for the pure vision of music horror it p[…]

Turned out Papua New Guinea was a bit boring, so I fell asleep in a large buff envelope. This turned out to be an error as it appears that during my sleep someone must have licked and sealed the envelope and popped it in the post. Luckily for me the […]

I managed to distance myself from the horrific Reef by getting a room on the very top floor of the hotel. I still did not like to rely on something with the same name as a useless South Western band for my continued existence but I desperately needed[…]

Turns out I was a dab hand at the surfing business. It was not that hard when you think about it, it is just standing up after all whilst the world around you tips and yaws wildly. Not unlike navigating my way home after a night out on the Bombay Sap[…]

You know how I was saying the day before how it was nice to be on a new continent. Well, Australia went down massively in my expectations the next day. From a land of bars, big drinks and big servings to some scrubby rubbish plants and sand and cold […]

It was refreshing to be on a new continent: North America had been getting me down. Also their alcohol measurements were very stingy, whereas here in Australia I had discovered something called a Schooner, which made a tolerable gin measurement.
My g[…]

“And this is for XTC.” I said, throwing a saucepan at Branson.
“And this is for Phil Collins,” a saucer.
“And this is for Genesis,” the cup, full of tea.
Branson was skipping and a bouncing on the surf where he had[…]

Floating around in the Pacific Ocean with nothing but a novelty inflatable mattress for company has to be one of the worst experiences of my life. It is certainly up there with listening to There She Goes by the La’s on autorepeat in the back o[…]

Turns out a Mexican Divorce was easier than I expected. A quick trip to the smartest looking man in the Town Hall, an incoherent babble where I pointed at the ring and slapped Crispian around the face, and then all night drinking Tequila in the local[…]