Turned out Papua New Guinea was a bit boring, so I fell asleep in a large buff envelope. This turned out to be an error as it appears that during my sleep someone must have licked and sealed the envelope and popped it in the post. Luckily for me the envelope had not address written on it, so once posted, it got sent to the place that all envelopes without proper addresses go to. Manila.


Now I am not saying that people should not write songs about envelopes. And I am not saying that Ladytron, when hearing said record should not put it on a mix tape.

Alright I am saying that. (My views on Ladytron are clear. I am fine withthem all pretending to be robots. That just makes it destruction of property rather than murder)

Seelenluft is a Nordic entrepreneur in his words. A vacuous waste of space in my words. He is a DJ-producer type chap who chops together rubbish bits of music from other rubbish bits. Manila is a case in point: a supposed dancefloor filler which is notable for its jolly story of a plane in the process of crashing being turned into a joyous, club style excess of swaying, swinging bodies. I am not sure how sensitive it is to write about people deaths being akin to a sweaty night down the Ministry Of Sound, but then there is nothing ethical about making a record in the first place is there? Consider the line “And then I started to dance, without wearing a seatbelt” I have long advocated the use of seatbelts and ear protectors in clubs, but you have to wonder how fatal the plane crash would have been if everyone would have strapped themselves in.

In many ways Seelenluft (or as he is also stupidly know: Silvercity Bob) is a Norwegian Moby. Except Moby exploits dead old people on his records, while Bob exploits youngsters. The rap on Manila is done by a twelve year old and I am certain he has not been paid a penny. This is hardly 2002’s answer to Kriss Kross after all. (1992’s answer to Kriss Kross was always, fuck off and put your clothes on properly). Remember, Mr Luft is a entrepreneur, and there is no minimum wage for the under 16s.

Finishing with a quote from the Seelenluft Website regarding Manila: “When Manila came out it was like dropping a bomb on the dancefloors of Europe.” Do not tempt me Bob.