Turns out a Mexican Divorce was easier than I expected. A quick trip to the smartest looking man in the Town Hall, an incoherent babble where I pointed at the ring and slapped Crispian around the face, and then all night drinking Tequila in the local bar until the sun came up as the seemed to do it.

“You could post Tequila Sunrise as today’s song,” Crispian said, clearly looking for a whole day in bed to recover from his injuries.
“Whilst I agree that The Eagles were a stain on humanity, I fear we are lagging somewhat behind and to spend a third day in the retrograde step of Mexico when two thirds of the world remains to be traversed would be a serious error. Anyway, I did it last year as part of the Round Of Rubbish.”
“Well I just thought a good days sleep would help after a long night on the tequila.”
“I am fine,” I said striding out on to the beach. “And indeed I should get going now.”

Now a night on tequila is not conducive to rational though which is why a befuddled me found myself alone, out at sea, five hours later on an inflatable mattress. Perhaps a little bit of kip would have helped, and then we would have got on a boat or a plane. Because being alone, with nothing in sight, on a green frog shaped lilo in the middle of the Pacific was a rum cove indeed.

808 STATE: Pacific State

Is 808 State’s Pacific named such because
a) It is peaceful, as in the Latin Pacific
b) Deceptively tumultuous, belying a calm exterior with some of the stormiest sounds ever put on record
c) seemingly endless, dull, wet and potentially dangerous especially to people who have been told it is a UK Dance classic only to discover that it is the sound of foghorns playing a lilting tune over an Oorhythmands rythmn section?

808 State were the archetypal faceless dance band (and for removing their faces I did a couple of years in prison). When they weren’t writing rubbish about oceans, or mispelling geometric shapes, they tried to do complex science experiments with their mat McTunes. A scottish rapulist (imagine) who was also a scientist they collaborated in splitting the atom. Notwithsatnding that Ernest Rutherford had already achieved this some sixty years before, these bedroom boffins (and boffers – let us never forget the place for masturbation in UK house) work night and day. But rather than producing limitless energy for all, or a large explosion which would have happily wiped them off the face of the earth, they just ended up with a record. A record which sampled the Magnificent Seven theme tune on it.

If that’s what they call “Splitting The Atom” then it is unsurprising that Pacific is actually written about Salford duck pond.