I was willing to let Phil Oakey rot in a see of his own flesh and blood (he’s a man) yesterday, but my public cried and said “Slap Him, He’s From Sheffield”. Alan Trewartha, the FreakyTrigger resident design master (who has ne[…]

So Phil Oakey said on the Human League song Human and handy it was too to know that he was not the kind of man-machine that his eerily synthesized music suggested he was. Eerily synthisized in the way that all crap things are eerie, redimentary knive[…]

He’s as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Imagine giving this offer to David Blunkett. Sorry mate, your current state of not being able to see at all is going to be down graded to the worst form of blindness of all. You can only[…]

This song is Diamond N’s version of Descartes Cogito Ergo Sum. In Descartes version he proves that even if he doubts all of the world, there is still something which is doing the doubting, the unshakable belief that he is a thinking thing. From[…]

ESCAPE FROM RUBBISH ISLAND!!!
People often ask me what the most frustrating thing about my tireless campaign against music is. My answer, as I stick my boot in another jukebox, is comebacks. There is nothing more annoying than seeing a band that you […]

Marvin, Marvin – where have you gone? Oh yeah, your dad shot you. And frankly with songs like this, do you blame him? Just look at the lyrics.
I’m just a toy, just a funny boy
That makes you laugh when you’re blue
I’ll be wond[…]

The controversy here is – is a ventriloquists dummy a puppet? Obviously its function is slightly different in the world of rubbish light entertainment, but I maintain that for being hand operated and anthropomorhic that yes, it is a puppet. And[…]

Robin The Frog was Kermit The Frog’s nephew. He was a tiny little creature, whose main problem in life was:
a) Being a frog
b) Being a small frog
c) Being the nephew of a hyperactive maniac theatre manager and having to live down the ignomity […]

Oh, they’re are a jolly band that there Metallica. There are plenty of stupid metal fans who saw Spinal Tap as a documentary, but only one band used it as a blueprint for a career. And Master Of Puppets is what you get if you have absolutely no[…]

After an exciting half hour of underwater daring do, with the brave Captain Troy Tempest saving the world what would be more stirring than a fine piece of outro music. Well obviously what would be more stirring would be a soppy (and sopping) ballad a[…]