(With customary apology to newcomers to the relative obscurity of this item. I rip the piss out of John Lennon below. And indeed on most of the other pages too.)
A tribute to both classical prodigy and early death boy Mozart and the late eighties US […]

THE TEN SMUGGEST MEN IN ROCK
My apologies, faithful readers, for this interruption but it’s come to my attention that new people may actually be visiting, and perhaps a list of fictional songs by They Might Be Giants is not the best possible we[…]

(You know, four days in – that title is starting to look a bit wieldy).
Written, on a slow day even for the genii which TMBG are. The two John’s were sitting in the They Might Be Giants Cave (actually a pokey rented office space shared wi[…]

(Note: This feature is in a way a tribute to the generous Dial-A-Song service which They Might Be Giants used to run, which would have a fresh song every day. As was pointed out in the pub the other day, freshness is not always a good thing. Every sh[…]

TMBG answer to Squeeze’s “Cool For Cats”, and specifically the question not posited by Difford and Tilbrook – What if condiments could fall in love? Hot For Dogs is the heartwarming (in the way that bile – when produced […]

TMBG’s answer to The Who’s “Tommy”, and specifically the question – Can anyone write a stupider disability themed song than “Pinball Wizard”? This is a supposedly whimsical, but instead thoroughly irritating […]

AN UNACCOUNTABLE OMISSION
Readers, I have failed you. I have done my best over the last several months to expose the very worst in music and warn you all from ever wasting your time, money or breath on it. But I have left a group out. A group so terr[…]

INDIE DANCE
Indie dance. Now hold on just a minute. We’re in trouble there from the outset, I think. Short of perhaps Laryngectomy Doo-Wop it’s tough to think of a genre which quite so comprehensively shoots itself in the foot. Indeed com[…]

HOW TO WRITE AN ELASTICA SONG
1: Nip down the Record and Tape Exchange and find a few old battered New Wave albums. Wire albums and Fall albums are especially useful.
2: Nick a song off of one of those records.
3: Sleep for two years.
4: Wake up, rea[…]

DON’T LET ME FUCK UP, WILL YOU?
Freak Scene was apparently named after someone saw J Mascis and said ?I?ve just seen a freak?. Spelling was never the beating heart of the grunge seen – I mean scene. Not that Dinosaur Jr were grunge of cou[…]