Freak Scene was apparently named after someone saw J Mascis and said ?I?ve just seen a freak?. Spelling was never the beating heart of the grunge seen – I mean scene. Not that Dinosaur Jr were grunge of course. Oh no, they came before grunge and just got caught up in the wave by – er – doing exactly the same thing. A bit too reliant on the guitar solo of course. But your bog standard Grungosaurus.

The only reason that anyone ever liked Dinosaur Jr was the fact that they swore on their records. Now swearing is naughty, and your standard indie kid does not – in general – approve of swearing. It shows a lack of intelligence, is uncouth, those terrible hip-hop people do it – and of course it might cause a fight in a pub. No swearing is in general a bad thing. Lacksidaisical, half-assed slacker swearing by American though, indie kids are all for that. It shows that they are for real, hard and genuinely stupid yanks. Its okay to admire such people as they are striking a blow for the anti-work culture which of course indie kids – being students – are all about. So Dinosaur Jr were their favourite Swearosaurus?s.

In particular they loved Freak Scene. Watch while slacker dude says ?Fuck? lots in a properly constructed sentence. Unfortunately one of those sentences was ?Don?t let me fuck up will you? – which he instantly rhymes with ?you?, which would pretty much be defined as fucking up in the songwriting business. Though this fuck up fades behind all the other fuck ups the song commits thil the whole thing collapses in on itself as some sort of super heavy fuck-up black hole. Indeed the only way to stop Mr Mascis fucking up would be to get in a time machine and completely wipe out his family line. Starting with his grandparents just to be on the safe side.

Of course this whole argument goes to show that Philip Larkin is the most Indie of poets. Because he swore on one of his poems. The only poem by Larkin that anyone knows, and they only know the sweary bit. Sad to think that a Hull librarian spawned sweary indie rock: They fuck you up your post war poets. They don?t mean to but they do.

Luckily the Junior went the way of their parents (who fucked them up) – killed by the plummeting meteorite that was their lack of talent. The record buying public soon realised there was nothing special about a bloke who couldn?t sing hitting his amp with his guitar. Infact everyone around that time was doing it. Coupled with the amateurish five year old record sleeves, it was quite obvious that the green mind in question was putrid and not working. Now I delight in going to record fairs and stamping on old copies of Bug. I refuse to let him fuck up, but if he needs a friend – there ain?t me. Fuckers.