Day 7: The Darkness
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

I like to think of myself as a strong, capable woman. I have stamina. I can endure much. Why once I even fought my way through an entire stadiums worth of David Bowie fans to get to the front an[…]

Day 6: Metal Box
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

Crisis has just hit. I was in rather high spirits last night, after Crispian had discovered exactly why tomcats make “THAT” noise, and was supping a comforting single in my bunk. I had […]

Day 5: North Atlantic Drift
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

After the first days stormy sea, today we seem caught almost in the doldrums (except I know where the doldrums are). Captain Jack, a surprisingly young sea dog who has the most appalling[…]

Day 4: The Ocean
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

As I write this the container ship Jonah is merrily ploughing its way through the Atlantic Ocean. The wind is at our back, which makes very little difference when your boat is basically a floating […]

Day 3: Belfast
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

I had allowed Crispian to talk me into this passage to Belfast, as he was certain we would be able to get a ship to America from there. Unfortunately it turned that this information had been gleaned […]

Day 2: Going Down To Liverpool
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

The plan of course was to reach the sea as swiftly as possible. Whilst the bet did not specify that I should not use air travel, I have an aversion to the way the pressurised air on p[…]

Day 1: London Town
AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 LOUSY TUNES

Without further ado, I hotfooted it (note, I did not hotstep – I save that for terrorising Ini Kamoze) back to my London pad. As I burst through the door I caught my valet Crispian De Savar[…]

I have had many e-mails from people trying to find out where I have been over the last couple of months. Well it is a strange tale, and stranger than even the one of the Topographic Oceans that Yes punted out to their fans in the seventies to see if […]

ZZ TOP
Everyone knows one fact about ZZ Top.
The one without the beard is called Frank Beard.
Everyone should know this other fact about ZZ Top.
They are not top in any way. Except perhaps top of my hitlist.
Think about it. Many a plumber or a air-co[…]

I always wonder if Jamelia’s mum was a messy eater and hence her birth certificate accident. Or perhaps it was one of those cases where the mum really wanted a kid called James. Whatever, the Jam type Amelia reckons you can See It In A Boys Eye[…]