I always wonder if Jamelia’s mum was a messy eater and hence her birth certificate accident. Or perhaps it was one of those cases where the mum really wanted a kid called James. Whatever, the Jam type Amelia reckons you can See It In A Boys Eyes. What is it you can see?

Well if the boys are like any I have ever met you can generally see an overwhelming lack of intelligence. The pupils in boys eyes, when not obscured by flopping dronerock fringes, are like bottomless pits of idiocy. That is what I can see in a boys eyes.

What Jamelia sees is the reaction from a man friend who only ever criticises her. Now as a card carrying feminist (the card is an AA Home Start card, which is six year out of date but…) I can sympathise. Blokes are always criticizing me for not liking their Jesus and Mary Chain records, or dancing along to Basement Jaxx. But where my sisterhood with shirt skirt Jamelia ends is that the criticism of me is not justified. Whereas her boyfriend moaning about her music is completely justified what with her being crap. Sure you can see it in a boys eyes, but surely she could see it in the eyes of everyone on Top Of The Pops.