Nov 04

Hands up who’s surprised by this?

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Hands up who’s surprised by this?

Well, at least someone’s finally been honest about it, I suppose.

Nov 04


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‘Ewing said the game was designed to undermine the theory there was some shadowy plot behind the assassination: “We believe passionately there was no conspiracy.”‘

Nov 04


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(viz CONTENT vs STYLE who will WIN??)

i. see you get up and say stuff and (if you don’t overrun yr time hem hem) then field clever questions
ii. and some ppl carefully write every word up beforehand and read it all out in a mymble mumble
iii. and some ppl use mannered rhetorical language that reads fine(ish) on the page and just weird and forced and poncey out loud
iv. and other ppl just have the whole whatever in their head and stand up and SPEAK, which is WAY preferable except timing is v. hard (shout out to infinite thought who lent me her WATCH!!) (plus also xenakis is v.fiddly and so is the science of stochastiXoRz, so i actually had a lot written down and as usual too much to SAY and RAN OVER and bleugh)
v. some ppl don’t actually cover the topic trumpeted in the pre-release abstract (but i WOULD HAVE if i had another five hours mins!!) (the very first time i did one of these one of my co-panellists switched at last minute from talkn abt the implications for photograph in the age of digital shenanigans as per promo to BAH YUK THE GULF WAR (= gulf war the elder) SO i wz suddenly stuck ambushed next to him talkn abt HURRAH SHINY POP (in the AGE of WAR)! in the same panel – his name wz kevin something and i will forgive him when they pry the fuzzy end of the lollipop from my COLD DEAD hand er where wz i?
vi. some ppl dye their hair pink and pick sexy sulky indie as their topic so get ALL THE ETERNAL STUDENTS in THEIR PANEL’S AUDIENCE grrr cz the panels clashed
vii. and sometimes ppl are audiences draws and quasi-avant popsters in their own right: score here, z’ev speaks off top-of-head, charming, rambling, not very focused (he sed he’d left his notes behind); bennett gave an awesome, sinister, content-free performance, like a new age motivational speaker, VERY controlling, VERY manipulative (haha good question at the end: “Do you really expect us to believe all that?”
viii. and all the while in the audience everyone cattily dissects their rivals’ work based on the SILLY WAY THEY PRONOUNCED “alterity” or HAHA THAT HAIR!
ix. but sadly some ppl had to leave early to get some sleep b4 final score announced (= not WINNERS but LOSERS) :(
except PS as i slinked away safe’s set wz just starting and ALL THE WINDOWS IN THE BUILDING WERE RATTLIN AND SHAKIN it wz like the calculus affair!!

Nov 04

Football simulations have been done to death.

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Football simulations have been done to death. Be you a playing type of the FIFA Soccer or Pro Evo schools, or management boors wrapped up in Championship Manager. But there is one area of football simulation which has been sorely neglected. That of running the actual game. A referee simulator.

The idea popped into my head watching a match in the pub where the poor old slaphead in black was huffing and a puffing away trying to keep up with the game. A management sim where the more your ref trains, the fitter he is and able to keep up with play. But the more prep he does on teams the better he is able to handle the big games. Your job would be marked, much like the new professional referees group, where success would move you from Sunday leagues to FA Cup games to the ultimate aim : refereeing a World Cup final, and perhaps having plastic surgery to look like Skeletor.

Oddly, the other motivation for this idea was the bus advertised game Evil Genius. Go figure.

Put it on our tab

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Put it on our tab

The spate of clubs going into some form of adminsitration recently has provided a fascinating look at the ways in which clubs operate through looking at who they owed money to. Hull achieved some notoriety by owing over ’6000 to Mr Chan’s Chinese takeaway, who they used to cater for Board meetings. David Conn has written at length of the scandal of unpaid bills to St John’s Ambulance, even at Bradford City, where they saved many lives in the 1985 fire.

All this prompted by Exeter City’s recently secured agreement from most clubs it was in debt to. Mostly they’re payments for player transfers, or the away club’s split of the gate money in cup matches, or the value of tickets sold to away fans by the away club on behalf of the home club.

Most clubs have been good members of the football family and agreed to a 50% cut, though quite why Reading – owned by multi-millionaire John Madejski – can’t help is beyond me. Must be that said millionaire is a Tory git or something.

But what really catches the eye is Rochdale. Exeter City owed them ‘7, which they have kindly agreed to write off ‘3.50. Obviously, the offer was a blanket one, with everyone urged to accept 50%. No, the confusion isn’t why they’re accepting ‘3.50 but what on earth Exeter hadn’t paid for that comes to seven quid. I know the transfer market has collpased, but really. Unpaid pies in the Boardroom? Did they borrow some Vaporub?

End of an era/PCGM!!!

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End of an era/PCGM!!!

I was rather shocked at seeing this story on ceefax last night. How can you take the beef out of bovril???? That just makes it marmite, shurely??? Although I reckon if I go out to tesco tonight and buy up all their PROPER bovril I can make a fortune on e-bay because bovril is one of those things that never goes off, like lard

The other thing that this story has brought out is the number of people I have discussed this with this morning who didn’t know there even WAS beef in bovril…

(for people wondering why this is on the sports blog rather than the food blog, bovril is an intrinsic part of the english football-watching experience, as it is perfect for warming you up after 45 minutes of standing on freezing terraces (haha, you can tell I’m non-league can’t you?))

Nov 04


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“Some of you may have missed this unbeatable 1-2 of stories (persevere if you find the first story boring)
FIRST STORY (Monday 15th November)
SECOND STORY (Thursday 18th November)”

I’m closer to ‘unbearable’ than ‘unbeatable’ on this one, but then I’m soft. Thanks!

Nov 04

That guitarist is defensively naive…

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That guitarist is defensively naive…

Have you ever wondered why commentary on African football is like criticism of soul music? Probably not, but if you want to find out, go to Everything They Say About Soul Is Wrong. It’s mostly about music, but there is a section about football, so I had the sheer unmitigated gall to put a link here…

Nov 04

I don’t remember much about the year 1984

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I don’t remember much about the year 1984. Apart from that bloody Eurythmics song. I blame this.

It’s been updated (20th anniversary) and remains as notoriously difficult as memory serves. It’s a standard text adventure (with a few linear graphics), but where your Level 9s offered po-faced responses and treated errors with incomprehension, this game tried to anticipate where you might go wrong and when you did, laugh at you.

Nov 04

Belgium Fannydangle

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Belgium Fannydangle