The FreakyTrigger Periodic Table
What is the Periodic Table of FreakyTrigger? The best way to describe it is to firstly say what it is not, and then to say how it was made. If it all makes sense after that, then this truly is a project that you might get something out of. Here it is:
What the FreakyTrigger periodic table is not: science – not even in the loosest limbed definition that FT uses (ie thought experiments and puns). It is not a way of ordering the world, the makers of the dessert periodic table put up last week would be quite disappointed by the general lack of periodicity. Whilst there may be some serendipity in the periodic placement of some of the “elements”, this is more by accident than by design. Indeed the design merely fits that of the periodic table because that was the idea in the first place. And as the methodology shows, any over-arching idea to create a consistent cosmology out of this project was soon scuppered by the organic scourge of many bright ideas. Alcohol.
So to the methodology then. The annual between Christmas and New Year pub crawl. This year we wandered the streets of Borough, going to some terrific pubs, one terrible pub and as is tradition, one was shut. The usual ending for this long day of drinking is some sort of list making, often with complex vetoing. The periodic table (perhaps in a more elemental form) was decided on as the topic weeks before. The methodology changed from a round the table discussion to a free for all, everything named got in. (See element 8). At this time of the evening only the hardcore drinkers were left. Fathers, lightweights, pregnoids and not quite announced pregnoids had left. A few randoms were in the posse, and there were plenty of people unaware of FreakyTrigger itself. And yet the list throws up some wonderful things, and some things worthy of discussion.
So over the next seven years* we will be perusing this periodic table, talking about what it throws up. Starting tomorrow with our hydrogen. In the meantime though, here it is, in its full glory – chemical symbols only. Feel free to guess what some of them are. I am pretty sure that the contributors, back in December, have no idea.
And first things first, tomorrow we will discover what our version of hydrogen is…
*Estimate based on time taken to get through the FT Top 100 tracks of all time.
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FT's Admin on March 29th, 2007
Where is FUN - should be Fn i rec
FT's Pete Baran on March 29th, 2007
Not all of the atomic names are as simple to work out as that Alan, you should know that. If fun was there though, it would probably be called Wk.
FT's Rick on March 29th, 2007
No 4 is clearly PIE.
FT's Andrew Farrell on March 30th, 2007
Consider the close-but-opposite nature of #4 and #5 there.
katie on March 30th, 2007
58 = hahaha
91 = puns
93 = EGG as in long egg
20 = pregnoids!
26 = Ayingerbrau
32 = PUB (tho there are 2 “P”s!)
FT's Tim on March 30th, 2007
I thought Lv was the 5th element.
Pete on March 30th, 2007
Well bang goes THAT joke.
Actually I;ll just use it again.
FT's Sarah on March 30th, 2007
88 = house!
Kat on March 31st, 2007
61 can’t be Zero 7, can it?
FT's Rob Brennan on March 31st, 2007
50 = me?
Al Ewing on March 31st, 2007
Zp = Space war?
Pete on March 31st, 2007
Someone has a good memory considering how drunk he was! Coming soon…
testicles on September 26th, 2007
wtf is up w/all the nerds who comment this?? you all so gay!!!!! cheese and rice man! lalalalalalaaaaaa im sorry im just bored and im in class and none of these fuckin websites will help me with my work. i feel like dancing to my music! break it down! oh baby oh baby i need you oh baby!! me so horny
ok ppls!!
love yas!
FT's Alan on September 26th, 2007
WHERE IS ELEMENT FOUR? and didn’t they do the big brother theme?
FT's Pete Baran on September 26th, 2007
Element 4 coming soon.
FT's Pete Baran on September 26th, 2007
Sorry, Element 4 already done, element 5 coming soon (list updated).