Now those who know me will be well aware that I rarely puff on the evil weed. Or, for that matter, its slightly less evil and more charitable weed. So you would think that I would be a clean air fanatic. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is not just because I may well be drinking with smokers – you try dragging Hammers into a non-smoking area at your peril. It is much more that pubs smell of fags, much like strawberries smell of – well strawberry.

You walk into a pub and there will be a comfortable cloud to beckon you. The morning after, if you have been lucky enough not to go home, when you pull your clothes back on they will smell of smoke – and the joyous hours spent in the pub come flooding back. No Smoking Areas completely misunderstand the point of pubs, you might as well have a no converstation or no bullshit area. I say that in a wary way, since I know that the managing director of Wetherspoon’s reads this and it can only a matter of time before completely quiet pubs are phased in.

The smell of smoke mingles with the taste of beer (especially lager) to create the aura of pub. There is a reason why this is called Pumpkin Publog, not Pumpkin Beerlog – and not just because we despise CAMRA and all it stands for. We love pubs, and we cannot see how you can designate a no smoking area – there are no invisible force field generators availible on the open market to stop smoke drifting into those areas. Therefore any pub which has a no smoking area is like a footballer without legs, unfeasible.

And I do like the odd cigar at the end of the night too.