Crivens, I turn my back… Right, since I am the only one round here to hold a British Institute of Innkeepers National Licensee’s Certificate I can clear up the first of the many pub based questions. Namely : is snakebite illegal. Well they actual advertise it in the Workers Beer Tents at festivals so you would hope not (though it may have contributed to Glastonbury being off this year). Answer is no. As long as the proportions of cider and lager are either in multiples of a third or a half of a pint. You see it is illegal to pour beer in quantities which are not multiples of these fractions of a pint.

This does – it occurs to me – have an interesting upshot. Lager top, lager and lime and cider armadillos (especially the later) are illegal. Since to fit the top / lime / sherry into the pint glass it would be necessary to pour just less than a pint, but considerable more than two thirds of a pint – the draught drink must been poured in an illegal measure. Now I am partial to the odd lager and lime on a hot summers day, but even so find this legal application of the Weights and Measures Act (1963) to be rather gratifying nevertheless.

On your own in a pub? Why not pull?