as follows:

1. In a bar in Sosho (Cargo on Rivington Street)
2. Waiting for mates (well, actually work colleagues but they are fairly decent chaps)

As far as (1) goes: imagine if you will…….. the year is 1992…… a young, scantily clad girl ventures out to Ritzy’s in Dunstable, gets pissed on vodka and coke and giggles a lot. Now fast forward to 2001…… girl is slightly older and better dressed but ends up in what can only be described as the Sosho version of Ritzy’s (only this time I was pissed on rum and coke). Having said that the toilets are immaculate, drinks are not that extortionately priced (2.50 for a bottle of Stella isn’t that bad) and the place is ridiculously full of gorgeous men. So that’s where they’ve all been hiding. And they seemed to be straight.

And as for (2) – well this took the biscuit as I had to wait ONE HOUR, that’s 60 English minutes, for my companions to turn up. In this time I had 2 drinks, numerous nonchalant fags, texted a couple of people, phoned a few, leant against a wall, checked my coat into the cloakroom (and lost the ticket), tried to look cool, failed; you get the picture. Didn’t have a newspaper and even if I had done it would have made me look like a right psycho. I had already carried out extensive grooming during the day so that option was out too.

I have resolved to get places later and end this lonely misery once and for all.