PUBLIC ENEMY – ARSE WALK WITH ME
There are a number of glaring problems with Public Enemy, not the least that Elvis actually wasn’t really a hero to anyone. I can certainly remember being five and saying “Mummy, when I grow up I wan[…]

MEN WHO SING HIGH
If Bono does it, it’s a bad idea. Few of the laws of pop are so immutable, and U2’s lead git is the master criminal of music, responsible for outrages of every stripe (and indeed Stipe), but few as heinous as his habit o[…]

THERE IS NO SWEARING IN “I SWEAR” BY ALL-4-ONE
Swearing is clever, in real life as in music. My objection is to UNNECESSARILY COY SWEARING. This occurs when the artist?s natural predilection for BEING RUDE is suffocated by their label?[…]

IMAGINARY MUSIC FOR IMAGINARY FILMS
I have this acquaintance – I believe Tom may be allowing him some space round here soon – who hates films with purportedly the same ire that I Hate Music (name of the site, and yet again all of it. Chri[…]

BOY BANDS
As you might guess, the e-mails I get tend to be a bit repetitive. Having sifted through the marriage proposals and assorted bleatings, one question crops up quite a lot: “But Tanya, what music do you like?….you must like some m[…]

IGGY POP
Just really a brief observation this but if the Igster had such a Lust For Life, you’d think he would have eaten something, somewhere along the line. If he had been a member of the Spice Girls (Rancid Spice?) I’m sure we would ha[…]

THE COCTEAU TWINS
(SCENE: St.Custards’ SKOOL LAB. I, N.MOLESWORTH am about to demonstrate my new invention to my grate friend PEASON.)
PEASON: Wot is this? Yore new hem hem invention? It look very TINY. Wot does it do?
MOLESWORTH: Peason thou c[…]

ASIAN DUB FOUNDATION
Maybe I’ve missed the boat. Maybe I’m still stuck in the waiting room. Maybe my train has already been and gone. Maybe I’m the only one who actually dares to say that Asian Dub Foundation are over-rated. Innovat[…]

PULP: The Early Years
Accounts tell us that, prior to achieving fame, Pulp made pretentious art-wank for Fire Records. Some may argue, yours truly included, that the only things that have changed are that the band is a lot older now and the label is […]

PULP: Rock Star Cock Star
Jarvis’ flashed his arse at Mikey (in the animal kingdom a gesture of submission to an alpha male – it is a mark of Jarvo’s weediness that he could even subconsciously consider Michael Jackson an alpha male[…]