THE COCTEAU TWINS
(SCENE: St.Custards’ SKOOL LAB. I, N.MOLESWORTH am about to demonstrate my new invention to my grate friend PEASON.)
PEASON: Wot is this? Yore new hem hem invention? It look very TINY. Wot does it do?
MOLESWORTH: Peason thou clot, it is a box which will pla the new MP3s when you downlode them from the ATOMMICK BRANE.
PEASON: But MP3s are rubbish and for tinies Molesworth! The downlode time is too long and Pater sa the sound quality is most abomminable.
MOLESWORTH: MP3s are revolushunising music Peason as any fule kno. You are a – Cave! Someone’s coming!
(Enter FOTHERINGTON-THOMAS, skipping like a GURL)
FOTHERINGTON-THOMAS: Hello clouds! Hello sky! Hello Molesworth! Hello Peason! Wot is that you hav in your hands? It look very pretty!
MOLESWORTH: Chiz chiz rumbled it is an MP3 plaer Fotherington-Thomas you would not kno wot to do with one it is quite beyond you –
FOTHERINGTON-THOMAS: Hello MP3 plaer! Oh Goody Molesworth! I hav now in my PORTABLE BRANE some MP3s by the COCTO TWINS. May I pla them on yore machine?
PEASON: The COCTO TWINS? You are a weed and a wet! The Cocto Twins are a band for GURLS their songs all sound the SAME and also HORRID.
MOLESWORTH: Wot is more the names they giv their songs are LARFFABLE. I giv you “Frou Frou Foxes In The Midsumer Fires” and “Pearly Dewdrops Drops”. Even “Fairy Bells” plaed by Molesworth 2 on the SKOOL PIANO would be PREFFERABLE.
PEASON: And the gurl who sings singeth like a TINY, she canot sa her words properly and hav not even the excuse of being from ICELAND. In short Fotherington-Tomas the Cocto Twins are the WETTEST band in the WORLD.
FOTHERINGTON-THOMAS: Oh please Molesworth please let me pla my MP3s! They are so beautiful you will like them!
MOLESWORTH: My hart softens I canot be so crule. Very well. Bring your portable BRANE here and let the downlode begin.
(5 minutes later)
COCTO TWINS: Weeee-waaa! Uwoooo! Wuhhuu wuhhu wuhhu!
MOLESWORTH: Wot is this? I feel my spirit soften my ruough soul becom more DELICATE! Can it be I like the Cocto Twins?
PEASON: Molesworth you fule! Turn it off! A BEAK approach!
(Enter SIGISMUND. He scowl in HOROR at the sound.)
SIGISMUND: Turn off that raket! Wot is this? Molesworth and Peason listening to the COCTO TWINS? There is only one PUNNISHMENT for that – the KANE!
(Chiz chiz this is wot come of listening to wet music. Had it bene SKUNK ANANSIE our punnishment would have been worse tho. You canot win it appere unless you are a frou frou fox.)