WARNING BAD SEX
“Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth … Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on[…]

Saw Bridget Jones: EOR yesterday. Mediocre. Did job I suppose. Bit like a 1970’s comedy. Falls over less than in BJD. Most jokes repeated. Globe-trotting sign of TV sit-com to movie syndrome. Bridge now too much of a comic character to be every[…]

Well there has to be a Santa serial killer movie doesn’t there? After all the threat of Santa knowing who is naughty or nice only really pays off on the nice side. Perhaps if you are really naughty, Santa might slit your throat instead.
I have […]

THE BEST BASKETBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD
Bill Cosby
Henry Kissinger
Bob Hope
Whoopi Goldberg
Nelson Mandela
Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Pope John Paul II
After a half heard radio report this morning that today was the fourth anniversary of Pope John Paull II b[…]

We ate goose on Friday. A lot of geese. A veritable gaggle.
Course 1: Toast with foie gras.
The temptation to put foie gras in italics is huge. I assume this is because it is foreign, but may also be because it is so nice that it needs to be marked o[…]

Hmm, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your toes, Steve McQueen bouncing a baseball against his prison door. All signs of the UK Christmas in the early eighties. Again why exactly The Great Escape became linked directly with C[…]

aka: The Ewok Adventure aka CARAVAN OF COURAGE.
Y’see in the States this was a TV spesh. In the UK it was emblazoned across cinemas as a surprisingly unwanted follow up to star wars’ least favourite characters. It is a bit like Raiders Of[…]

Mark Sinker says:
Here’s what I love about Tim Burton: the inextricable knot of his constant absolute contrary rage. He is angry at Hollywood for
i. ignoring him even as they
ii. endlessly eagerly embrace and hire him.
How can they SO TOTALLY N[…]

DALI MEETS DAHL
No, that would be too fucking glib. But its about time Tom Burton made a good film and even if he arses up this version of Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, this day-glo trailer is already a queasy classic.[…]

Usually Christmas films have the bonhomie of the season coupled with the goodwill-to-all-men message pushed to the fore. This is the meaning of Christmas to these films and thus are more than able to hang saccharine, feel-good fairy tales on the Yule[…]