“Hoyt began moving his lips as if he were trying to suck the ice cream off the top of a cone without using his teeth … Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns … “

Winner of this years Literary Review Bad Sex Prize for worst sex writing. Tom Wolfe (the author of said passage) would probably argue that it is meant to be bad. To which I would say – in a Mandy Rice-Davis accent natch: “well he would say that – wouldn’t he?”