Posts from 27th October 2005

27
Oct 05

I Love Games

TMFDPost a comment • 837 views

The argument between whether computer games belong on TMFD or Do You See continues to rage on the futuristic battlescarred world that is Freakytrigger editorial in the pub. I sit firmly on the TMFD front. All of which is naught because there is now somewhere else for people to discuss computer games: I Love Games.

A happy community at the moment of interesting threads, the site also includes this marvelous image from Robster on the Movies That Should Never Be Made Into Games thread. Mock-up PS2 boxes is the future.

Film “posesses” man

Blog 7Post a comment • 216 views

Ananova misses the spooky subtext of this Unicycling Doctor story.

The doctor was clearly possessed by the spirit of the Robin Williams film Patch Adams. More proof that Robin Williams is the spawn of Satan*.

*Also quite spooky in his own right.

The FT Top 23 STRANGE PHENOMENA: No.11 Ecology of Bus Shelter Rooftops

Blog 7Post a comment • 739 views

i. you are on a bus
EXPLANATION: you are going to work or back home or somewhere and yr ROLLS is at the MENDERS
ii. you are gazin idly out the window
EXPLANATION: you are IDLE
iii. you are at bus stop
EXPLANATION: you are ON A BUS
iv. on the top of the roof of the bus shelter, you see STUFF which oughtn’t to BE there, but yet IS there, day after day after day, viz esp. SHOES, invariably in the singular…
EXPLANATION: it is the scruffy floor of a trans-dimensional transport portal for BUS SHELTER ELVES

v. but why SHOES?
EXPLANATION: they are ELVES!! do keep up!!
vi. but why are shoes left when the elves are not?
EXPLANATION: elves are more used to makin shoes for BIG PEOPLE so their own shoes often fall off when they are in a hurry
vi. why are they in a hurry?
EXPLANATION: there is nothing much to hang around for on the top of the roof of the bus shelter, unless you have a thing for the grubby left-behind shoes of others

WASTING TAXPAYERS MONEY WATCH

The Brown WedgePost a comment • 332 views

Here at Freakytrigger we are always scouring the papers for pointless phrases which are rounded up in dispiritingly small minded articles. And now to join our perennial favourites “Political Correctness Gone Mad” and “Just A Bit Of Fun” : I suggest a new bedfellow. Let me introduce “Waste OF Taxpayer’s Money” Watch. A phrase nearly always found near Arts Council grants and Modern Art. And what a great story to start with.

Turner Prize Nominee (I think the words “Turner Prize” and “Waste Of Taxpayer’s Money” may well be inextricably linked in the mind of many newspapers) Tomoko Takahashi spends £5,000 of money to drink 48 bottles of beer and fall off a beam. The Telegraph rightly questions aspects of this, though neglects to ask these key questions
a) What beer did she drink?
b) What offie did she go to that charged her over £100 per bottle?

But what about the waste of taxpayers money quote: here comes David Davies from the Welsh Assembly:

“If anyone is daft enough to want to see a young woman getting plastered and tottering around in high heels, they can do it in just about every city centre most nights of the week. The show is probably the biggest waste of money in the world. The worrying thing is people are deciding to hand out taxpayers’ money like this when they are sober.”

Crisis for lazy burger munchers

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 528 views

Once upon a time, if you found yourself at the bottom of Tottenham Court Road and fancied a Whopper, it was easy. You would just pop into the Burger King next to you and be sated. This is no longer the case dear readers, there is a crisis in the world of Tottenham Court Road Burger Kings. The one on the east side of the road has closed down.

Some people would suggest that this is infact not a crisis at all. All you have to do is wait for the Pelican Crossing to turn green and cross the road to the Burger King on the west side of the road. Such people misunderstand
a) The beauty of having two separate branches of the same restaurant directly opposite each other
b) The competition inherent
c) that Burger King patrons may not be able to walk these twenty yards for a burger.

So if we see particularly obese people dying of hunger outside of We Will Rock You, we know who to blame. Shame on you Burger King. How will we defeat Subway like this?

(Other TCR news, Brazil By Kilo has ditched its downstairs deli which did cheap cheese rolls but no-one ever shopped in).

BBC TEATIME TV LACK OF ORIGINALITY SHOCKER!!!

Do You SeePost a comment • 375 views

So yes the return of Doctor Who has been a massive success. Awards and viewers galore. So how do the BBC capitalise on it. No fair, they raid ITV’s closet.

BBC TO BRING BACK ROBIN OF SHERWOOD.

PROBABLY WITH A DIFFERENT NAME.
AND PROBABLY A BRUNETTE ONE, BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS JASON CONNERY’S RUBNESS WAS DUE TO HIM BEING BLONDE (and the lack of support in the ideas that Robin Hood can “regenerate”)

Pillars of Hercules

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 202 views

We have talked before about the Pillars of Hercules, but really only in terms of PIE, rather than in terms of it’s pubbishness. It’s a funny place, FAP rightly point out that it’s a good place to meet but it seems a shame to think only of it as this. Their beer is always interesting and well-kept, the Tom Woods last night was really good, and there is a decent atmos and despite it’s fullness it not that hard to get a table as there’s a quite a high turnover of punters. Anyway, adding to this last night was someone I’d seen advertised in there before, but never really understood the concept, DJ Wheely Bag!

Who, you may reasonably ask, is DJ Wheely Bag? Well information on t’internet is scarse and mainly in Spanish, but I did find this picture which begins to explain the concept (and what a concept!). As I was walking to the pub I saw DJWB pushing his (folded away at this point) contraption and assumed it was just a guitar amp or similar. It was only when he sat next to us and began to open it that we realised that it was in fact a TINY MAGICAL MOBILE DISCO with lights and 1 (one) turntable and a speaker and mixer and record case ALL IN ONE. DJWB only plays 7″s and seemingly, nothing newer than the early 70s, and last night was concentrating on halloween and bird flu-related records (so lots of good HORRORPOP). Because there is only 1 (one) deck, DJWB has to natter away (via a madonna-esque head mike) whilst he changes records as well as offering multiple-choice quizzes with pound shop prizes throughout the evening. I KNOW it sounds “wacky” but it’s actually REALLY REALLY FUN, I think he’s on every Wednesday, you should try it.

Less Is Enough

Do You SeePost a comment • 405 views

Its probably the (dwindling) mathematician in me: I have always hated the phrase “Less Is More”. Without using < or > (or even ))<>(( if you know what I mean), I can happily prove that less is not more thank you very much. Perhaps what is really meant by this logical fallacy is that less is often enough, or indeed less is exactly what you want.

Broken Flowers has a very lessy performance from Bill Murray. He now seems to have realised that he is cursed with being funny, no matter what he does (this seemed to annoy him when young, just seem him the The Razor’s Edge). The only way to restrict the involuntary guffaws is to remain as still as possible. And so in Broken Flowers he remains an emotionless centre, trying not to be funny. Trying to be full of pathos.

Problem is that Jarmusch surrounds him with one dimensional funny, played on the whole by actresses who don’t do funny. So the funny characters are played by people who find comedy difficult, and the straight man is a guy who can’t help being funny. There is one scene where Bill lets rip with a sardonic look and, being about an hour of longeurs in, it comes as a massive relief. Possibly undermines the rest of the film – but never mind. It is a remarkably slight film anyway and probably not worth it for just that dinnertime scene. But it is an almost relaxingly zen experience. Less from Murray is not more, and here it is just about enough.