Outfield Goalies

You don’t see them much these days, what with three subs being drawn from five named replacements. I have to confess it’s my favourite thing in football.

I like seeing an amateur goalie at the top level, the mixture of top class striker and rubbish goalie always a recipe for fun and comedy.

I like seeing how big goalies are, as the goalie’s shirt dwarfs the hapless outfielder who’s usually chosen because they’re the least rubbish outfielder when having a kickabout in training.

I like seeing them like frightened rabbiots in the headlights on onrushing striekrs. I like seeing them make the occasional save, which is greeted reptutously, becasue they aren’t expected to save anything.

I like the unorthodox saves, using any part of the body available and sod the textbook. It feels like what would happen if I went in the net, and a for a small part of the game, top-flight football has an anarchic quality more commonly seen on a public park.

I also like seeing a team owned by one of the world’s richest men, with stars-a-plenty, reduced to 9 men and a right-back in the net. No matter how much money you have, the rules in the rules, and long may it stay that way.