A fight too many ye say? Avast, ye landlubber! But the Pirates of the Caribbean had a secret treasure: a post credits appearance by the Zombie Monkey. Surely all hearts would have been melted by the antics of this tiny, cheekily entrailed fellow, had we stayed to learn who the assistant grip was.

I thought the movie was great fun. Yes, yes, a visit to the island too many, perhaps a device that would have been less of an encumbrance in a children’s book, but that Johnny Depp – he’d win Pop Idol in a swordflash.

The only omission from the genre checklist was that the pirates didn’t tend to adopt that borderline corrupted first person plural present tense dialect which is obligatory in genuine pantomime.

We’s be wantin’ that, we’s be.