Of course my serene mood was soon rudely shattered. While willing the thermometer ever higher, hoping for it to reach the happy point at which cheapo Taiwanese stereo components melt into unconductive puddles, a headline caught my eye that caused me to spit my morning gin all over the balcony (where it evaporated within minutes). “STARSAILOR RETURN”. Yes, I thought, just who you’d want to soundtrack Britain’s hottest ever Summer, eh? Though perhaps my cynicism was unwarranted, since their music sounds eerily like a baby mammoth slowly drowning in one of the tar pits Britain’s motorways have become.

Anyhow, the band Phil Spector would rather be jailed for life than produce are indeed returning. Apparently Chris Martin stepped in and funded the record as sales of his own needed a boost – “Don’t think you need a second copy? Look at the alternative my dear fellow.” Starsailor combine gall with stupidity though as their new single is called “Silence Is Easy”. Why yes Mr. Starsailor, silence is easy, considerably easier than being bricked around the ears on a regular basis by your unspeakable croakings. Or perhaps he is saying that silence is the easy option, the (admittedly appealing) life of a Trappist ascetic being of course a piece of piss compared to spending your days knocking out barrel-bottom trad rock about driving your poor Dad to drink. We’ll see how easy Starsailor bloke finds silence on his next tour, as he contemplates the yawning gaps between songs, filled only with embarrassed shuffling and the occasional polite cough.