Premise 1: The rap artistes Outkast released the single Hey Ya in 2003. It was very, very popular.

Premise 2: With its instantly recognisable into and catchy beat, it quickly became a banker in any popular music disc jockeys set.

Premise 3: So much so that it was a lazy trick to play it, and therefore influential popular music website Popjustice instigated a Hey Ya Boycott in November of last year.

EXPERIMENT: To see what a half full dancefloor & half full club of savvy pop listeners aware of the boycott will do, if a DJ dares to break this rule.

AIM: To see what they will do.

APPARATUS: Twin CD Decks that now work, a great club wot is called POPTIMISM (mid Fridays every month), a DJ, a stick that says POP and INDIE on it, a copy of Hey Ya.

METHOD: With a half full dancefloor courtesy of Vanilla Ninja (shame) the infectious intro to Hey Ya is cued up. The sign saying POP is waved as ver Ninja fade out, and the pause button is played on the crossfader. The crossfader is flicked with some panache.

RESULTS: Instant excitement on the dancefloor. The odd cheer. There is an almost instant reaction from those not on the dancefloor with a mass stampede. As the song kicks in proper there are pained looks from people who were already on the floor, as if they are dealing with some insurmountable personal dilemma over whether to dance or not. No-one leaves dancefloor. Occasionally punter comes and waves comedy fist at the DJ, who explains that this is not breaking the boycott, merely an experiment.

CONCLUSION: The power of Hey Ya is greater than even a Popjustice boycott. And note, the boycott is equally explicit about what the crowd should do when it is played, they should not dance. I broke the boycott in the name of science, you lot just broke it on purpose. (It also means rubbish DJ’s should have no fear of the boycott. As I am not a rubbish DJ, I shall revert to not playing it.)