From the ‘PBS’ postbag –

“Are there any geneticists out there who would know what would happen if my sister and I attempted to breed?” – J White, Detroit

‘Professor of Interplanetary Craft’ R Carpenter: “Well shit, they do it in Zeta Reticuli so why not Detroit. Kick out the jams, sisterfucker.”
Professor of Entomology Ant Banks, Oakland Tech – “I don’t know about that sort of shit but I do know that if you have a fly infestation in your house, and they’re still there even though you’ve thrown out all the rotten fruit, check the inside of your toilet bowl and if there’s still a peanut hanging off the side poke it off with a stick or something. Not your marshmallow stick either! Flies love poo, so if it’s yellow stay mellow, if brown flush it down!”
Lancelot Lamarck Link, Evolution Expert – “I think it would be more interesting to see what would happen if you mated with that English chick who sings on your record. She’s got a tattoo on her back and I’d love to see if the kid would have one as well. What!? They already solved that one years ago? Shit, well what do you expect, I’m just a fuckin’ ape”