Duel 2002 Round 1 Match 7

Which Of These Two Bands Is Worse?
The Stereophonics
The Strokes

View current results
View message board

A handbag full of tar and a gladrag soaked in chloroform — Jesus, where do you even begin to talk about the Stereophonics? You could start with that drooling chump of a drummer, maybe? Or that bleating idiot Kelly Jones, who grumbles in every interview about how the press don’t like him and how the charts are full of pop, despite the fact that his gangrenous howlings have shifted in volumes as uncountable as the stars in the sky. Stereophonics got to the semis of the last Duel! and that was BEFORE ‘Mr. Writer’ came out! Have a nice vote!

That said if anyone can stop Kelly and the boys at the first hurdle it’s surely The Strokes, New York City fops whose study of Chapter 1 of Punk For Dummies has paid such great dividends over the last year. ‘I view a successful career in rock as like being a successful businessman or banker’, says Julian Casablancas. But there’s a crucial difference — bankers also make their money from the fruits of others’ labours, but unlike the Strokes they add interest.

Yesterday’s Result — BADLY DRAWN BOY 69% – Spiritualized 31%

An easy victory for the indie Jamiroquai — your remarks follow:

‘The case against wool hats begins here! I’m reduced to talking about accessories because the music is so thoroughly unremarkable.’

‘At least BDB knows when to shut up. ‘

‘Listening to Spiritualized is like taking a particularly painful dump – the process is execrable and it’s a huge relief when it’s over. ‘

‘and surely 9000-piece orchestras are worse than shit hats? Not by much, admittedly… ‘

‘former next big thing BDB gets my vote here. Writing the sort of songs that bono would write if he were the singer in a pub-rock band (well, he almost is) can get you very far in this duel’

‘it’s spiritualized, but only cos Jason’s a bit further up his own arse than Damon is up his. Plus, I like wooly hats. ‘

‘I voted spiritualized as I thought one of their songs was a blur song. Plus I have the Badly Drawn Boy Ep’s 2 and 3, which I’m hoping might be valuable. I bet they aren’t anymore! grrr! Plus, that BDB lokks like my old geography teacher, who I always thought was cool. ‘

‘at least pierce knows more than four chords. ‘

‘Crap hat, crap songs, crap beard. Worse than that he has a face like a horse, which is worse than taking horse, just. ‘

‘It’s not that I hate wooly hats, it’s just that Damon Gough is a disgrace to wool hats. I feel ashamed to walk down the street in my chococat hat for fear of people associating me with that shiftless no account appalling crusty ‘

‘I was going to say “Badly Drawn Boy smells like wee,” but someone already used that word. ARGH.’

‘BDB smells like moldy bread and goats, not wee.’