As you know, I have a particular dislike of ANY songs with the word If in the title. But even Midge Ure has been eclipsed in stupidity by R.Kelly’s latest mid-tempo yawnfest.

If I was a psychic
I’d know our love would last
Because I’d go into the future
And prevent all break-ups from coming to pass

If Ralph (pronouice Ralph) Kelly were really a psychic he wouldn’t need to go into the future, because he’d be able to see the future and prevent the break-ups from coming to pass from the comfort of his own present day, as the occured. So going into the future would not be necessary at all. Right?

WRONG! Psychics have the ability to read others’ minds, not to see the future (and definitely not to travel in time, that would generally requires a time machine). If our Rodders was a psychic he might be able to tell what the object of his affections was thinking and do his best to solve any unspoken problems. However this psychic ability and sensitivity does not fit with what we know of his modus operandum to date. (Not to mention his statutory defense in many of his legal cases).

If he could look into the future, of course, he might see adults… But then that might put him off.