A repeat turn on I Hate Music for this plagerised pile of pap, and just a minor one really since both Jam and Start are breakfast foodstuffs. Jam obviously, crushing fruits with lots of sugar to create a bastardised lumpy non-alcoholic version of cassis. Start was a breakfast cereal from the eighties which was fortified with vitamins and minerals (for which read sugar) and had Steve Cram on the cover. Steve Cram is an athelete whom I admire intensely since he has never – to my knowlege – ever committed a single moment of music to recorded history. Unlike say sports stars like Glenn Hodlle, Chris Waddle, John Barnes, John McEnroe or the man with a zebra crossing on his head Pat Cash (I wouldn’t mind crossing him – with a steam roller).

I have gone into some depth as to why Start in particular out of the sludge pit that was the Jams numbers is particularly poor – unsurprisingly this rests on it being completely plagiarised from The Beatles. Nevertheless any opportunity to remind ourselves that before Paul Weller was the leather faced fool he is now, and even before he wore two tone shoes and got mud (rightly) slung at him in the Style Council – he was in The Jam. A band who, lest we forget, took all the good things about punk (being from tiny villages in Surrey, being so bad you never got played on the radio) and turned them into adverts for a reasonably enfranchised youth. Going Underground eh? Proper punks couldn’t afford tube tickets. And how dare he talk about the dreams of children? My dreams were full of happiness, item one being Paul Weller being run over by his own lambretta as he wrestled to get out of his Parker. At least I know Bruce Foxton would now be laughing along.

(People looking for the long lost Week Fourteen of olde reckoning I Hate Music can also follow this link to find it).