The titles of Jana Rush’s tracks on her Pariah LP have an enjoyable bluntness. “Beat Maze.” “Chill Mode”. “Frenetic Snare.” She’s been DJing and making records for over 20 years, since she was 15. This is her debut full-length. So I s[…]

It’s now that I find myself guiding FT towards the little-charted territory of the Wobs sanger vegetarian option, traditionally an unloved corner of the refrigerated unit filled with miserable cranberry and brie combinations (of which I suspect[…]

For all that it’s still the most popular supermarket in Britain, Tesco seems a bit nonplussed at Christmas time. Its adverts have long been upstaged by the posh end of the market – and this year it got the unwelcome attention of racist id[…]

Over in an unsatisfactory place, my esteemed FT colleague The Barnet Ape — who claims he does not eat xmas sandwiches and has therefore declined to contribute to this calendar — opines as follows:
“Advent Calendar Of Christmas Horror D[…]

“Hi, I’m Barry Scott! Despite my reappearance in the nation’s ad breaks this year, the amount of grime in general circulation has actually *increased* somehow! I blame the millennials and their over-reliance on antibiotics made from[…]

At £3.10 this is the most expensive single food item in Greggs. Unless the Christmas Toastie beats it, but certainly none of the secular options break the three pound barrier. What do you get? Turkey, bacon, cranberry, stuffing, and SPINACH, a conce[…]

Bozhe moi! IT’S BACK! The draw for the Football World Cup was made today, and so, for the fourth time, we’re delighted to host the POP WORLD CUP.
The point of this post is very simple. If you want to be a manager in the Pop World Cup, put[…]

We dispatched our lunch-facing elves far and wide across the face of the wrapped-food (with coffee) sector, to report who does what best on an opening-a-new-little-door-every-day basis. And by the finest of all invented traditions, the xmas season be[…]

(Warning: SPOILERS.)
First: I shd note immediately that I’ve read no Stephen King and only fully watched a few of the films (Carrie of course and lol The Shining; several more half-watched at best). My perhaps ill-informed nugget of knowledge is th[…]

(This article was transcribed by me, Drake’s Dad, over a series of Sunday conversations. We counted evolutionary lines as a single Pokemon for space and patience reasons.)

151. MR. MIME (Mr. Mime)
CREEEEEEEEEEEP.
(more…)[…]