Without further ado, let’s plunge headfirst into your top 50!

50. PJ Harvey – ‘The Last Living Rose’

She won an award you know! I am the only person on the internet who doesn’t like PJ Harvey’s voice so I shall just post the video and be done with it. The walls of her house appear to be made out of Stilton.

49. Diddy/Dirty Money ft Skylar Grey – ‘Coming Home’

Probably the most successful of the billion singles released off Last Train To Paris, this is the one where Diddy slags off Smokey Robinson then decides he’s alright really.


48. Wild Flag – ‘Future Crimes’

Indie supergroup ahoy! It’s her out of Sleater-Kinney and her out of Mary Timony. This is one of the few tracks in this top 50 that I hadn’t heard beforehand. It’s not bad, is it?

47. ??????????(Kyarypamyupamyu) – ‘PONPONPON’

Your guess is almost certainly better than mine! If you can make it to the end of the video without getting a headache then you win a gold medal.

46. Jessie J ft B.O.B – ‘Price Tag’

Love her or hate her, she’s not going away any time soon. If it’s all a bit much just skip to 1.05 and enjoy the terribleness of LACY JUMPSUIT and LEOPARD TROUSERS in quick succession.

45. Cher Lloyd – ‘With UR Love’

Malvern’s tiniest pop imp sets aside the swagger for a second and gives us a rather sweet teen mid-tempo-er (we need a better word for that).

43. & 44. Nero – ‘Guilt’ & Nero – ‘Promises’

Same points, same number of voters, same vworp-rock with a bit where the synth goes ‘BSSHHHP-BPP-TSZZZ’ and a bit where the lass goes ‘OOOoooOOHHHoHHH’. Nero tested my spreadsheet to its very limits – distinguish between these songs at your peril!

42. Dev ft Cataracs – ‘Bass Down Low’

‘Get your mitts in my oven’ indeed. Anyone would think that the levels of DECENCY and PROPRIETY in our society were no more than antiquated concepts. Nice tattoo though.

41. Alexandra Stan – ‘Mr. Saxobeat’

Here I would like to quote my darling other half’s opinion of ‘Mr Saxobeat’: “On hearing the first few seconds of this song I wanted to stick forks into my eyeballs.” Possibly a little harsh but no more harsh than me referring to PJ Harvey as ‘the pop equivalent of a mad cat lady’. Anyway, if you liked Moldova’s Eurovision entry from 2010 you’ll like this.

Coming up soon: #40-#31!