johnny-five.jpgScientists are being naive in saying that the government report on granting rights to robots is a waste of time. But then scientists are always the last people to apologise when their wacky projects accidentally end up grafting intelligent robotic arms onto their back turning them into meglomaniacal villains. Its unlikely, say the scientists, that intelligence which would require any kind of rights is going to be developed in robots in the near future. And then they tell us that there is already a robotic KILLING MACHINE patrolling the North/South Korean border.


Everyone knows if you hit a robot with lightning it is likely to develop a personality of its own. And in suggesting that Johnny Five from Short Circuit should not have rights is anything short of inhumane. Johnny Five WAS alive, he said so himself – even if he ended up falling in love with a butterfly and that bird out of The Breakfast Club. At least he was a good guy, fictional history is full of artificial intelligences hit by lightning who go mad. Look at the plane in Stealth. Whatever, we need to be prepared: I suggest setting up a RSPCR to help the ASPCR in the US (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Robots).

The actual report seems mighty short, no wonder scientists are pooh-poohing it. Especially Noel Sharkey, roboticist from Sheffield University who is wary about robot rights, and predicts a future where robots will be like the police (LIKE IN TERMINATOR III: RISE OF THE MACHINES – do you see). But then he would be anti-robot rights, he regularly took part in Robot wars. That’s like asking a man who makes his living out of cock-fighting if cock-fighting should be banned.

Don’t ask about the picture by the way. The internet is a scary place sometime.