I was born with this unlucky sneeze
And what is worse I came into the world the wrong way round
Pundits all agree I am the reason why
My father fell into the village pond and drowned.

So go the lyrics to the theme to James Bond. No: really. Monty Norman is to re-record his theme with the original lyrics for a new album. Monty Norman, NOT JOHN BARRY, as Monty gets a bit itchily litigious about who wrote the familiar twang.

So why should we care. Except that the lyrics provided so far would grace only the best Xenomania production. Well, Bond and pop music are excellent bed-fellows, and I would argue one of the reasons why the series has continued for quite so long. Whilst lush orchestrations are favoured for Bond themes, there is nevertheless something which relies heavily on the zeitgeist of pop. The general format after all is a nice challenge to a big star as the average Bond theme has:
a) A nonsense title which needs to be worked in (bah – All Time High…)
b) The need for lush orchestration
c) jaunty enough for naked ladies to writhe over in the credits.

The best Bond themes (argue in your own time) get all of these with a singalong chorus. Lyrically, these words by Monty Norman (and Julian Moore – who may also be litigious) actually are no less nonsensical than many a Bond lyric. And we know the tune is good, and suitable for both lush orchestration and writhing girls. We just need a name for the film, and I am not sure if Good Sign, Bad Sign quite does it.