* I contend that there has been a vampire film released every year since 1919, and whilst I contend this with no proof, I contend it with the same certainty that I could run a marathon. Its plain to me that vampires are an all pervading myth and o[…]

If the four previous films I saw over the Easter weekend made up a long, but definite shower of shit, it is difficult to categorise Crank 2: High Voltage. Because, yes, on many levels it too is shit. But it knows that going in, and therefore has no e[…]

I have a theory about Dragonball: Evolution. I believe it was completely funded for by the Christian Right Wing in the US. OK, so it seems to espouse a theology which runs counter to that in the Bible, but kids that already like the Dragonball manga […]

As deliberate foodologists we cannot wait for the arrival of SQUEEZ BACON in the UK. The difficulty of proper bacon, however well cured, is its intractability when it comes to being spreadable, and the difficulty in writing your name with it. As we a[…]

Note: This review contains spoilers. But then the film title contains spoilers so I don’t care.
Monsters Vs Aliens 3D suggests there is something amusing in having a clear mission statement as your title. It seems to be saying that it both reco[…]

It is quite easy to make a movie franchise out of a concept which is all style and no substance. The theory is simple: if people are willing to see one film with fast cars, alpha males and girls galore, they will keep going to see them. The Fast And […]

Over the weekend I found myself with a hankering to see lousy movies. Well was I in luck OR WHAT! Because a late Easter means a perfect shit storm of kids films and blockbusters not quite good enough to wait until official blockbuster season arrives […]

Like most Clint Eastwood films, Gran Torino takes its time. It never feels rushed, though unlike say Changeling it does not feel overlong. Perhaps the difference is Clint hamming it up infront of the camera, no matter how craggy (and he is craggy alr[…]

They say the proof of the pudding is in the eating, but in this case, the proof of the pudding is in the LISTENING. Because this is a show about puddings, and you have to listen to it to get any nutritional value out of it at all.
Nuncle Carsmile Ste[…]

Duplicity: aka an agent from MI6 and an Agent from the CIA. When They Met it was Murder.
There are certain names which should never be used for films. Anything that comes in a bit too universal, a bit too non-descript, will doom your project. Steer c[…]