Have the national sports media really only now gotten around to the concept of Cow-Patty Bingo?
“Gee whiz Martha, what will they think of next? Donkey basketball?”[…]

BRITNEY SPEARS – “Autumn Goodbye”
Twinned quaintness: a B-Side, and a Britney tune carried mostly by its sung melody. It’s A-Side was “…Baby One More Time”, which may not be the best of her records but is sti[…]

Sexually explicit film version of Nick Hornby’s 31 Songs cuts 22 songs to fit the sex in.
Alright, that is actually a lie. Instead Michael Winterbottom has made what may well be an unreleasable sex’n’concert film where a young coupl[…]

It seems that my new favourite genre of films is work proceedurals. Shattered Glass does it for highbrow journalism, and painstakingly spends much of its time telling you how rigourous the editing and fact-checking process is. It then spends the rest[…]

The Asphalt Jungle. Really. Ananova runs on the “new kind of volcano” as the selling point here, whilst a small bit of cinematic history would have given them my much better title. Underwater volcanos off of Mexico which spit out asphalt […]

This mob don’t stop. Not happy just to blight the cocktail supping set, the tequila obsessed foursome also have to get their digs into the French Teenage bouzing market. Consider, the French youth have enough to worry about, having to listen to[…]

Now if anyone asked me to get them a cocktail as part of a standard pub round, I would be more likely to look at their arse and enquire what happened to their previous tail. Frankly the effort of mixing various alcohols together to make something dem[…]

BRITNEY SPEARS – “Anticipating (Alan Braxe Mix)”
The Britney/Daft Punk link-up never got beyond a delicious rumour but this 2002 remix gives you an idea of what might have been. Halfway between Madonna’s “Music” an[…]

Alterno versions of films we have already seen. Implicit in the mid film two gang meet-up in Shaun Of The Dead is that there is an equally viable film starring Jessica Stephenson where one assumes less people die called Yvonne Of The Dead. This is pr[…]

So does Saturday’s result mean that Mark will have to re-write the noise piece to work in the carpathian pop Xena?
While we are here, are there any suggestions for solving the “political” voting quandry, beyond reanimating Tito to r[…]