Posts from April 2007

21
Apr 07

Focus Group 11 – FHM HIGH STREET HONEYZ

FTPost a comment • 2,157 views

FHM High Street Honeyz – “I Touch Myself” – Score: 4.26 (11th) – Controversy: 2.75 (9th)

(Females: 11th. Males: 12th. Under 30s: 10th. Over 30s: 10th.)

Most like: Alex Gaudino ft Crystal Waters. Most unlike: Mika.

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20
Apr 07

VIEW-WATCH URGENT APPEAL

FT + I Hate MusicPost a comment • 695 views

Friends of the busker men The View are in a spot of pickly bother, readers! They’ve lost their support band, The Horrors. I expect that the so-called Horrors realised what TRUE HORROR was after listening to the View soundcheck. Anyway, they’ve run away as fast as their skinny goth pins will carry them and the View are now asking for a new support band for tonight.

Of course I’d ordinarily hope that nobody applies, but anyone paying to see The View deserves the double dose of pain this scheme will no doubt deliver.

The View state that they are not looking for any particular type of band – just one who is “good”. Which of course begs the question: how the fuck would The View know?. This, as I may have commented before, are the band who have an inferiority complex when it comes to buskers, so it’s no surprise that, after receiving 3 demo tapes within 5 minutes of starting their appeal, they have found themselves with a difficult choice. “The standard so far is really high!” says a gobsmacked Viewite, “We had no idea there were so many good bands around.” Yes, this is because the View are the worst band in the universe and a group of four gibbons with coconut shells would surprise and stun them with their musical quality. It’s like asking a blade of grass to judge a tallest tree content.

BRANDWATCH: Lots A Spam

FT + Pumpkin Publog4 comments • 2,115 views

garlicspam.jpgCarsmile Steve told me last week about the special edition Spamalot tie in Spam which he had seen in the supermarket. Spam with Stinky French Garlic. Yes, yes, that joke is so early seventies now that it almost seems quaint. The WORD Spam will always be funny, it has the spitting opening, the long a (trying to describe why words are inherently funny is a mugs game of course). But the attachment of Garlic to the French seems a bit old hat now, especially as I get through a bulb a week. Perhaps it is the secret of the Spamalot musical, that Monty Python has become the establishment (and thus being anti-French fits its US based demographic). A wee bit of research on the British Spam website however shows that this is not the only new variant “special edition” flavour available in the UK.

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Only Three Cassoulets Left in Him

FT + Proven By Science + Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 1,113 views

Stumpy the duck is down to three legs. The usual terse reporting from Ananova explains how he got one of his superfluous appendages stuck in a fence and the vet came and harvested a leg for dinner helped free him from his predicament.
stumpy-duck.jpg

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19
Apr 07

now why would this make anyone suspect match-fixing?

FT + TMFD5 comments • 1,005 views

The Guardian reports a very amusing scandal in Ghanaian football. If two teams both won on the last day of their season, promotion to the top division would be decided by goal difference. At half-time it was 1-0 to the promotion hopefuls in each game. Then, it is alleged, both managers or other interested parties bribed the opposition to concede a few extra goals in the second half…

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FT Periodic Table: Element 2: SPACEWAR

Blog 7 + FT + Proven By Science3 comments • 971 views

spacewar.jpgWhat explains the prominence of this odd item in the Freaky Trigger Periodic Table. What is it that makes the idea of Spacewar so essential to what underpins everything Freakytrigger stands for? is it

a) The idea of thrill-power which Tom talks about here, and here, and is almost certainly embodied in 2000AD which often had massive shots of war in space to illustrate the gritty future WE WOULD ALL INHERIT.

b) Is it the fear of the US Star Wars weapons programme, and Star Wars 2, elevating the up to now depressingly mundane and earthbound idea of war to a whole new plane, one which previously had been for dreamers and optimists only. The bloody carnage of bodies floating in zero gravity with a frozen AIIIIEEEE! stuck in their gullet is a universal fear surely?

c) A tacit acknowledgement than the Star Wars films are real actual history, due to taking place “A Long Time Ago”

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FT Top 100 Songs: 61: CARL DOUGLAS – Kung Fu Fighting

Do You See + FT//2 comments • 2,407 views

shawbroslogo.jpgThere is a rule in the FT Top 100 which means that Tom won’t write about a number one: clearly he is going to write about all of them in Popular. And he is not a million miles away from reaching Carl Douglas’s Kung Fu Fighting: and what’s more I will preemptively guess that it will get a pretty high score. Why wouldn’t it, its a novelty record which is actually a really great record at the same time. Tying into a fad, it appeals to five year-olds, and yet has stuck as a cultural touchstone for well over thirty years (indeed one of the few reasons it might not get a 10 from Tom is that he possibly prefers the Bus Stop version from the nineties). What more is there to say though except to note a generosity of spirit and absence of overt-racism* in which was not necessarily apparent in the day (see the Hammer House two kung fu films to see what I mean: The Legend Of The Seven Golden Vampires in particular).

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Gr8 K8

FT2 comments • 542 views

It is Kate Bush week on Stylus Magazine, with a special edition of their Singles Jukebox (which involves me) – and also check out Marcello Carlin’s lead article, an excellent summary of her career and its significance.

The Theme Tune To Dad’s Army

FT + I Hate Music8 comments • 3,704 views

dadsarmy_main.gif“Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler” sings Bud Flanagan at the start of Dad’s Army. I think you’ll find that Herr Hitler was not “kidding” anyone, and was deadly serious about his attempted conquest of Europe. Indeed as statements in song about World War II this is almost as crass as “How could you lose, six million Jews?”, by Emerson Lake and Palmer. But then what would you expect from a TV show whose express purpose seemed to be to demonstrate how Britain won the war by being old, incontinent and deliberately unfunny. A bit like that Genesis comeback tour then.

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18
Apr 07

Buy Band

FTPost a comment • 2,902 views

REDNEX FOR SALE.
rednex.jpg
Now you may only know them for their global hit Cotton-Eyed Joe, but there is more to the fabulous Rednex than this one hit WONDER! Old Pop In An Oak! Er. And other stuff too. Their unique dance meets country style (well except for Swamp Thing by The Grid) means that they are often in demand for soundtracks* and Students’ Union PA’s in Sweden.

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