garlicspam.jpgCarsmile Steve told me last week about the special edition Spamalot tie in Spam which he had seen in the supermarket. Spam with Stinky French Garlic. Yes, yes, that joke is so early seventies now that it almost seems quaint. The WORD Spam will always be funny, it has the spitting opening, the long a (trying to describe why words are inherently funny is a mugs game of course). But the attachment of Garlic to the French seems a bit old hat now, especially as I get through a bulb a week. Perhaps it is the secret of the Spamalot musical, that Monty Python has become the establishment (and thus being anti-French fits its US based demographic). A wee bit of research on the British Spam website however shows that this is not the only new variant “special edition” flavour available in the UK. The somewhat conservative Spam-eating population is about to have its tastebuds wowed by the infusion of BLACK PEPPER into their spam.

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Considering the S in SPAM stands for Spiced (Spiced Pork And Ham – SPAH if you know how to make a proper acronym), one wonders what spices are actually in it if Black Pepper is seen as risque. Anyway, we are mere babes in arms when it comes to Span variants in the UK. A little look at the horrific US Spam website (turn your volume down or watch out for the song and gurning Peter Kaye-a-like) shows much more innovation in the field of brand extension. Now I have always been led to believe that most brands can only really support a couple of brand extensions until the parent brand is devalued. One can only assume that the stock of spam was already so low that the SPAM CORPORATION decided to go hell for leather and just push the boat out. Perhaps it is because no-one actually likes Spam that this needed to be done*.

So those US Spam variants in full:

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Hickory Smoke Spam
Golden Honey Spam
Bacon Flavoured Spam
Spam with Cheese
25% less Sodium** Spam
Garlic Spam
Turkey Spam
Hot & Spicy Spam
Spam itself
Spam Lite

and quite horrifically
HUMAN SPAM.

See over if you don’t believe me.

*I actually rather like Spam. I disprove my own rule. But I did have too much as a child where it was the only meat my mother would allow me to cook with. As such I am a master of the Spam Fritter, Spam Chow Mein and Spam Con Carne.

**I am not sure what they have done with the Chloride. SODIUM IS NOT AN ABBREVIATION FOR SALT.

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