Posts from 18th November 2005

18
Nov 05

Double Deck ‘Er

Blog 7Post a comment • 326 views

I get up from my seat and walk to the stairs at the front. A neatly dressed woman has decided to stand at the top of the stairs so I slow to let her swing out – perhaps she’ll take my seat – but no move does she make. With the usual quiet “scuse me” i make my way gently past in that pressed against the wall way, but she makes no reciprocal movement, you know, turn away, press against wall. Two, three steps down, “for fuuucks sake” i hear her slowly whisper behind me. Another step. Did she really? I turn and she’s looking my way.

“You know, you are the one standing on the stairs” i gesture to the stairs.

Perhaps she hadn’t realised where she was.

Maybe she’d look down and see where she was, go “You are quite right. I am being quite inconsiderate!” headslap “Despite the signs to not stand on the stairs, despite me not owning the stairs in a bus that connect where a lot of people are sat, and the exit that many of them will have to use on the lower level and the social convention that anyone blocking a narrow passage should let others past, and the fact that I did see you approaching, and that you politely asked to be excused… despite all that, I had managed to slip into a dream world where I was queen and everyone around me had to fawn at my every demand – my many apologies to you”

Midas Taste

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 173 views

EDIBLE GOLD LEAF num num.

(But is it really a pie?)

Etiquette Watch

Pumpkin PublogPost a comment • 346 views

Field reports of two OUTRAGEOUS breaches of pub etiquette:

1. From the PintJournal of our Glasgow correspondent comes a tale of someone ordering a very expensive wheat beer pint in someone else’s round and then providing a LIST of acceptably priced drinks when they themselves went to the bar. Wheat beers have created enormous amounts of etiquette issues but most pubgoers are used to fitting premium-priced pints into a round system, on the “what goes around comes around” rule, which is what the entire communistical edifice sits on anyhow.

2. From the PLOUGH pub nr the British Museum this boggling incident:

– Some people enter boozer, there are no tables. They go to the bar and say “Are you still serving food?” Barmaid erms non-commitally. They press their case – “If we ordered some food, could we kick them off their table?” Them in this case means US who are drinkin happily (though not eating). The barmaid looks desperately to her superior who dives in with a quick confirmation that they are NOT serving food anyway. But my dears, the very idea!

irony as history pt 2

FT + New York London Paris MunichPost a comment • 552 views

other things that i liked or made me laugh:

i. gambo wipin away a tear when sabbaf were inducted
ii. the general old folks reunion small-world-intit feelin
iii. angus young in LONG PANTS AT LAST!!
iv. p.townshend sounds EXACTLY LIKE (and looks a little like) my neighbour: viz quizzical, querulous, quite high-pitched “hippie” cockney
v. the commentator who explained pink floyd’s ageless astonishingness thus: hummable tunes played by excellent musicians in refined settings

“tailored” shorts and long boots

Blog 72 comments • 3,617 views

being an mang, and also being the opposite end of the spectrum from “fashionable” i am unsure as to the correct terminology for this au courant item of legcovering, but i know one thing:

ALL YOU LADIES LOOK RIDICULOUS IN THEM

i have only seen one (1) person get away with this shorts/long boot combo and that was, i think, due to the fact that she gets away with wearing almost everything/anything (hey suzy :)) but everyone else JUST LOOKS SILLY, like their trousers have shrunk or something. i think it’s the “formalness” of the short being like proper trousers, yet haha! they only go to (about) the knee, aren’t i bleeding edge??!! no, you look like yr mum has thought “ooh it’s a shame to throw them good trousers away just because they’ve got a hole in the knee, i know what i can do with them…”