Way back in the mists of time, a certain Dan Perry of this Man2Man Parrish stated his intention of reviewing all Dr Who books, in chronological order via publication for the delectation of Brown Wedge Readers. Unfortunately, he managed a mere three of these reviews, leaving your humble Narrator to pick up the threads in 2005.

Dr Who novels and I do not go way back, you must understand. In fact, we are recently very new bedfellows. Yes, of course I’d read Who On Earth Is Tom Baker, CLEARLY I’d read the gloriously violent The Boy Who Kicked Pigs, but books? SURELY THIS IS TOO MUCH.

And then of course, the new series of Dr Who started on BBC1. Ooh Christopher Ecclestone, the ladies sighed. Then it was all, OOOOH, CAPTAIN JACK, which was a free for all between ladies and 51st century guys alike. And then… Gallifrey? DESTROYED? What the fvck? What the fvcking fvck?

Whilst in the pub with PEOPLE WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER, I asked them thus: is this a book thing? Does that explain it? What happened? Isn’t Romana the president(ess) of Gallifrey? Where? What! What’s happening!

You see, I actually had read one Who book before. 50p in the charity shop, Chris Boucher (one of my fave Who writers on the telly), Tom Baker and Leela story, marvellous. I enjoyed it and then thought no more of it. But that was a one-off! That didn’t affect the Doctor’s life, it was just a JAPE! You mean there are whole ARCS in these things?! Oh man!!

So, investigate I did. I picked one Missing Adventure, one New Adventure, and two BBC books. Please note that my Who reviews will be in no sort of chronological order bcz I reject yr puny timelinesbecause I can only review the ones I’ve actually got and I can’t guarantee the quality.

In that respect, very much like the novels themselves.