Boo-hoo! Sob! Hallo Readers, I’m Harry Styles, one of the One Directions, the X-Factor boyband sensations who are worse than both Rebecca Ferguson and Matt Cardle, as proven by phone-vote-science. And yes, I am weeping my heart out because my o[…]

“Hi, I’m Sexy Thorin Oakenshield, and I like nothing more than a good sing-song, especially if it’s about gold. Sitting down, standing up — as long as transition metals are involved I’m not fussed. However I must say I w[…]

“Good morrow! I’m Henry VIII, who you might recognise from such bangers as ‘Pasttime With Good Company’ and a goth-metal remix of ‘Greensleeves’ that appeared on Now That’s What I Call Antidisestablishmentari[…]

“Greetings, my name’s Skrillex! You might recognise me from the Young Person’s Music, where my asymmetric hairdo and NHS Specs are getting plenty of ‘wub’! Anyway, the charming lot behind Freaky Trigger have asked me to […]