That’s what it says on the piece of paper. It must be said though that the scribe was mighty pissed at the time and, well, Digby is the biggest fucking dog in the world. No two ways around it. A cautionary tale perhaps for anyone who gets a puppy for Christmas. Remember a dog is for life, and if it turns into the biggest fucking dog in the world you might be in trouble*.

At my school they used to show a film as an end of term treat. I have a feeling the staff may have been hanging around in the staff room quaffing sherries as we settled down to The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes or Digby, The Biggest Fucking Dog In The World (they were always lame-o Disney live action bobbins). Of course it was exciting seeing a film, though the super-16 projector never worked properly and you could not see it properly because too many kids were bundled in to the hall. Lord knows what the plot of Digby was: though at a guess it involved a vat of gunk, a dog and hilarious pratfalls. I think I possible read through the films after a few years, and the girls sitting next to me were too busy platting each others hair (why do girls do that?). Still whenever I see a really big fucking dog, I think of Christmas.

*I never by people puppies for Christmas due to the campaigns against the cruel treatment of animals over this season. I usually save the dog for a birthday present instead. Less stigma.