Archives – Series – Ten Songs Which Were Not Written By They Might Be Giants But Which Would Nevertheless Fit Into Their Benighted Canon With Nary A Second Look  

We Put The A In Accordian
Read post

By far and away the pinacle in imaginary They Might Be Giants awfulness – We Put The A In Accordian – is an almost prog-rock type number which explains almost their entire career away as some sort of sad, sorry joke. It is only a matter o[…]

Stephen King’s “The Carpet”
Read post

Our cup overfloweth with sixth form humour with this classic. A direct descendant of the “Monster Mash”, just not as scary or potato based. Their Casiotone 400 “Scary Sounds” option button must have been pushed – as crea[…]

This Song’s In (Parentheses)
Read post

Some say this song was written as a response to fans who found the brackets in the song title of (She Was A) Hotel Detective annoying and difficult to sing. Such fans later had their mail traced by the FBI and have now been locked away in a high secu[…]

Mellow Marsh
Read post

A stab at psychedelia, which if psychadelia pressed charges would almost be reduced to “acting goofy with a deadly weapon”. Mellow Marsh cleverly transposes the two constituent words of marshmellow, to tell a story about Vietnam draft dod[…]

The Ghosts Of Pac-Man
Read post

An idea which shouts through a megaphone that it was conceived on the back of a beermat- The Ghosts Of Pac-Man asks a number of searching questions about the blamanche-like spooks in the early eighties video arcade game. An idea not fully developed o[…]

Eine Kline Bongwater
Read post

(With customary apology to newcomers to the relative obscurity of this item. I rip the piss out of John Lennon below. And indeed on most of the other pages too.)
A tribute to both classical prodigy and early death boy Mozart and the late eighties US […]

Telephone On My Desk
Read post

(You know, four days in – that title is starting to look a bit wieldy).
Written, on a slow day even for the genii which TMBG are. The two John’s were sitting in the They Might Be Giants Cave (actually a pokey rented office space shared wi[…]

Fistula
Read post

(Note: This feature is in a way a tribute to the generous Dial-A-Song service which They Might Be Giants used to run, which would have a fresh song every day. As was pointed out in the pub the other day, freshness is not always a good thing. Every sh[…]

Hot For Dogs
Read post

TMBG answer to Squeeze’s “Cool For Cats”, and specifically the question not posited by Difford and Tilbrook – What if condiments could fall in love? Hot For Dogs is the heartwarming (in the way that bile – when produced […]

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm, I Am A Mute (Ant)
Read post

TMBG’s answer to The Who’s “Tommy”, and specifically the question – Can anyone write a stupider disability themed song than “Pinball Wizard”? This is a supposedly whimsical, but instead thoroughly irritating […]

Latest comments on FT

  1. The prose in Sorcerer Of The Wildeeps uniquely blends high fantasy with Delany-esque afrofuturism. The focus on Demane's complex relationships,…

  2. I tried reading through the Viktor Davis stuff recently, and it reminded me precisely of a self-published criticism of Black…