JUDGE JOHN ROCKIST: apologies for neglecting my Dub Dob Deed blogging duties one and all, I blame my rotten old sodden alcoholic lifestyle, I’ve been dead in a bin for the past few days and have only just managed to drag my disgusting semi-cadaverous corps to a seedy interweb café on the Tottenham Court Road, where I mugged a tramp for interweb tokens. But enough of that! ON WITH THE SHOW.

Last weeks episode featured Adam “Breathe Again” Rickett as a Nathan Barley with a conscience TV producer in a REALITY TV SHOW called “Teh Dungeon”. Shockingly, it is revealed that contestants were chosen to clash off each other, and producers encouraged to provoke the “in the jargon, flakey” contestants are far as possible to get BIG UP ratings. So in the course of the programme we get a poverty stricken born-again Christian enterting the show so he can send money back to his village up against the MOST APPALLINGLY ACTED STEREOTYPE IN THE WORLD EVER: a gay N4zi Aryan race Marco!

“He’s a homophobe!!!”, GNARM (hey, nice!) shouts across the courtroom at PSB-AC.
“But you’re a racist, aren’t you”, says the case for the defence.
Case for the defence shows the court an MS Published pamphlet showing GNARM avidly soaking in the atmosphere at a BNP conference. ARF! How do we defend ourselves?


But anyway, along with “Teh Dungeon” plotline (can we hear the theme tune plz Auntie Beeb), we also have the ongoing “Judge John Deed BRINGS DOWN THE GOVERNMENT with the aid of Jenny Seabrooks”. Jenny Seabrook by the way, is the worst actress ever. She can’t even act A COMA. Nasty Lord Big Business decides he’s got to put an end to this meddling judge, and hires some form of hit man to “take care of business”. So throughout the episode, viewers are treated to what is basically an upmarket London based Where’s Wally, as Silly Hit Man strides MENACINGLY behind the unaware Dub Dob Deed in EVERY OTHER SHOT. At one point he wears a cravat. I think all killers should wear a cravat. In fact, I think the Killers should wear cravats, and I could possibly wrap them round their neck until they stop making such appalling crimes against my eardrums, but I digress. The final method of “taking care of DDD” comes in the form of a lethal injection IN DUB DOB DEED’s ARSE which is FOILED by missing it’s target and ending up embedded in DDD’s flippy man-purse thing.

The show finally concludes with the producers of the reality TV show being found guilty, DDD “encouraging” naughty journalists to “cover proper news stories” for ABOUT TEN THOUSAND YEARS WORTH OF SPEECHING and me wondering where on earth Jo Millses little adopted boyscrote went. I missed the last two episodes, did he kill himself out of sheer depression at being faced with Jenny Seabrook’s awful FACE?!

We shan’t know until August, as that was the last DDD. See you then, Judge.