Corey? Really? That’s not a name.

The Lost Boys is the definitive 80’s vampire movie. That’s not to say it is any good. But it bundles the Reaganomics and brat pack ideologies into a big ball and spews them out with all the usual messy vampire mythology nonsense. The tagline for the film: “Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It’s fun to be a vampire“. The problem that many vampire movies have, especially when they vaguely humanise the vamps, is why is so bad to be a vampire? Are vampires themselves any more evil than humans noshing down on a chicken? They are superior (if physiologically confusing) beings and we should be glad that they don’t kill us all off. It is fun to be a vampire.

The Lost Boys digs itself into this hole ridiculously quickly, the mystery of there being vampires in this neck of the woods is dealt with almost perfunctorily. What is left is ho-hum vampires as a metaphor for puberty, highlighted by the ridiculousness of the pre-pubescent vampire (“Holy Shit, its the attack of Eddie Munster”). A dull metaphor the film tries to articulate what might be bad about being a vampire, and fails until we see who the leader is. And when it turns out to be the remarkably bland Edward Herrmann we are supposed to think that Keifer Sutherland is going to grow up into him. No, it does not hang together.

Of course even in the eighties it was next to impossible to do anything with the vampire genre, but the Lost Boys does not even try. It marks the end of the brat pack, and the end of the Corey’s too. Corey Haim is okay but I always though that Corey Feldmann never really matched up to the genius of his father Marty. The Lost Boys might be his best film, but its not great claim to fame.