This wacky urban myth that CSI took it on itself to face last night (UK Channel 5): the oh-so-cool black guy who secretly gambles was sceptical, the dark-hair woman who caught a bullet for President Bartlett’s daughter was cheerfully up for weird science. They brought up the “wick theory” of SHC (viz: that the initial smouldering fire melts bodyfat into clothes, which then acts as a wick to burn with tremendous local heat, gradually reducing the body to ash, not inc.pedal extremities, nearby furniture, the can of kerosene by the TV etc etc). They got to the point where they were testing this theory with a dead pig in a dress out in the back yard – i.e. leadenly replicating decades-old strange-but-true TV documentaries – when I got distracted by some micro-drama over on Jamie’s Kitchen Revisited (UK Channel 4), so I don’t know if Mulder won the bet or Scully. They should have tried it out on a dead David Caruso in a dress. Or just sleeping.