YARRRRRRRRRR! Everyone else is at a great barbeque and I am sat at home nursing a hurt foot so it falls to me to mention Pirates Of The Caribbean, which we saw on Friday night. I am not the best person to review films, I rarely see any so my cinematic sensibilities are basically stuck at the “Look! It moves!” gosh-wow level. It might make me a good person to review this film, though. Anyway I thought POTC was GREAT if a bit too long. The final fight in particular could and should have been cut shorter: the “how are they going to beat him?” question that boosts tension in final-reel encounters was completely missing, as it was blindingly obvious how they would beat him, it was just a question of gnashing your teeth waiting for them to work it out.

In fact the action is the least good thing about the film. This is because pirate films are – or should be – all about atmosphere. As long as your Pirate Bingo scorecard is filled nobody in the film need actually do anything: it’s all about the gorgeous scenery, the even more gorgeous clothes, the grog and the lingo. Probably you need a swordfight and a plank-walk too but other than that you might as well just fill the screen with pirate ambience and wander off. So the convolutions of POTC outstay their welcome a bit, whereas the Disney ride it’s based on is a deservedly enduring classic despite being far less ‘exciting’. Still though, two hooks up.

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