What with the Scottish Swan having avian flu, a number of questions are raised:

a) When did Bird Flu become Avian Flu? Is it to make it sound more scary?

b) Why are we worried about a swan having bird flu when the only person who could possibly catch bird flu from the swan is The Queen, what with her being the only person allowed to consume such creatures in the UK?

c) Why are we worried about a swan killing us with bird flu and not about the fact that it can break a mans arm. Everyone knows that?