“I think that is quite enough salt to soak up the red wine.”
“Well you’ve only got yourself to blame, pisshead.”
“It doesn’t work if you never empty the hoover bag.”

All phrases we may soon be hearing around the house if the Intelligent Carpet becomes a commercial reality. The extensions to this basic concept are most exciting though. Imagine a carpet whose individual tufts could move you around as if you were crowd surfing. A carpet that could massage your feet. A carpet that could clean itself.

But this may lead to a carpet which wants a bit of space and a room of its own. It would eventually packs its carpet bag and leave home to go to University. At University said carpet would be a bit of hellraiser, constantly having nights out on (and with) the (carpet) tiles. Managing to graduate with a foundation degree, your old carpet would get a job in industry, starting at the ground floor of course. Though the world of work is difficult for intelligent carpets, as there seems to be a glass ceiling (which naturally gets all the good jobs). Life is not easy for intelligent carpets after all…