Ridiculous hyperbole? Check.
Sexy fake-mathematical selling points? Check.
Hilarious dangling modifiers? Check.

Introducing our exciting NEW laser engraved pen… the INFINITY EXTREME!

I’d like to take this opportunity to present the laser-engraved INFINITY EXTREME pen to you. Please take a moment to look at the enclosed free sample with your business name and address permanently engraved on the barrel – it won’t wear off!

Given as a business gift or sign of appreciation, customers, employees and associates will be pleased and imprssed with your personalised INFINITY EXTREME pens.

Plus, every time they’re used your business will benefit—
=> Valued by customers and associates, your special message will always be at their fingertips!
=> Useful and attractive, you’ll gain valuable advertising every time they’re used!

YES! I want to give out LASER-ENGRAVED INFINITY EXTREME pens to benefit my business, available colours: Extreme Blue, Extreme Red, Extreme Teal, Extreme Grey, Extreme Orange, Assorted…

Extreme Teal!!