Hurrah! The Lady QCs took second place in the pub quiz and first place in the spiritual victory prize. Yes, last night there was a mob-handed takeover at the quiz, where our motley two groups of loons scooped first AND second prize. I felt a little guilty about this, until I realised that I was exempt due to answering about one question the entire night. I was, truth to be told, more of a keen observatrice than an eagle-braned (eagles = brane faces?) question solver.

Whilst pondering this last night, I came up with the mathematical theory of booze percentages. See this! If The Lady QCs come second, they get ’20 worth of drinks. Let us call this x. I answered one question (y). If y is proportional to x, then x=one half (40 questions). So we want to figure out what x is worth in booze. Unfortunately here my pub maths fails me, so I guesstimate that each question is worth a half of shandy (easy questions = lemonade bit, harder ones = booze bit). I got one easy question, which means by rights, I should have taken home a half of lemonade from that ’20. Instead, I fetched from the bar a lovely and soothing whisky mac. This clearly does not solve the equation correctly. A whisky mac is surely equal to at least ten questions.

But never mind, seeing as we got the money at 10.30, we had to spend it in the best way we saw fit.

Therefore I deduce that maths must be flexible to fit in with the needs of this ages drinker, and started to propose a thesis to put before the esteemed workplaces’s Department of Maths. . x:y => nQuestions => errrrr lets get someone else to go to the bar.

CONCLUSION: don’t drink lots of coke before you go to bed, YOU WILL NOT SLEEP and come up with idiotic bad maths proposals. Perhaps all I needed was a scientific calculator though…