Inspired by Sarah’s tale of woe last week, in writing rather than in deed.

I don?t suppose I have ever really considered the merits of the fast food packaged drink before. You know, the waxed paper cups, with their lids to aid rigidity and prevent spillage. But paper really is not a very strong material, when it is all that is standing between your leg and a pint of Pepsi. Yes, I had an accident in KFC at the weekend.

After drifting out of the cinema I had twenty minutes to kill and a slight hankering for fried chicken. I get this very, very rarely – its been well over four months since the Colonel has made any money out of me. But money he made, as I got myself a medium two piece meal: that is two pieces of chicken, a medium fires and a Pepsi. Feeling ever so slightly soiled and dirty (as I always do in fast food restaurants, its an esteem thing) I set off to get a straw and some salt. These are KFC chips after all. They need salt.

The final leg of my journey was where disaster set in. A girl who looked about nineteen (and therefore had to be actually fourteen) misjudged her personal space when she stood up, grazing my tray. This set the Pepsi into a precarious rocking motion which was probably not helped by me grasping it firmly as it started to fall off my tray. If allowed to fall naturally it would have plummeted to the ground and exploded on the floor causing me little splashback. So they are designed. Unfortunately my spider-sense style catch left me holding a pint of Pepsi over my right leg, and the key point is the Pepsi was upside down. The plastic spill shield could not cope, and combined with my probably more meaty than necessary grasp, the contents deluged down my leg.

?Fuck,? I said, holding the cup for longer than strictly necessary I fear for natural comic effect. I had slightly splashed a Chinese diner, though the snotty ten year old who had caused the upset got away scot free. And my leg dripped with Pepsi. I was really thirsty too.

Luckily napkins are always on ready supply in mucky ole KFC so I went some way towards emergency leg drying, though it was a bit sticky later. But being centre of attention in a fast food restaurant is no fun. You can take your Supersize Me’s, and your Fast Food Nations – they may convince you to stay away from the chains. For me it is much more simple. Those cups are dangerous.