Further to Pete’s LJR story below, I think he made an initial error. The Pub Table Grab is a manoeuvre that should never be attempted. I can’t think of anything which makes me feel less comfortable in a pub than looking around hawkishly for a better place to sit or stand. Ooh, are they moving? Look, they’ve only got a sip left in their beer! Quick, quick… God, even thinking about it puts me on edge.

If you are in a pub and there’s nowhere to sit down, either resign yourself to standing up or go somewhere else. It’s that simple.